


Walk You Home

by jemoyed



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Cat cameo, Character Death, Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Memories, Nohyuck, Sad, Sad Ending, walk you home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21900229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jemoyed/pseuds/jemoyed
Summary: Winter wasn’t always white, sometimes winter was red.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15
Collections: DreamXmas 2019





	Walk You Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunariajen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunariajen/gifts).



> This one is for you Marta !! :D
> 
> It took me way too long to finish this fic, but overall I really enjoyed writing it. Hopefully it didn't turn out too sad for your own liking, but there is still a long part only of fluff hehe.  
> Now I really hope you will like this, even though some parts are unedited yet :')  
> I hope I did your prompt the justice it deserved to have!!

> “Fate is cruel, but it was fate.”
> 
> \- Edward Rutherfurd

* * *

It was cold. The blanket Jeno had put around himself earlier wouldn’t warm him up and the hot chocolate he had forgotten about yesterday was now covered in a thin layer of ice. Outside, the snow hadn’t stopped falling for days and barely anyone was trying to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

Jeno pressed his face against the kitchen window, breathing against the cold glass. It was a lonely winter just like all the others ones he had experienced before. Only the stray cat he had adopted some time ago, was there accompanying him when she wasn’t outside, wandering through the city’s alleys.

Day by day, Jeno wanted to escape the loneliness surrounding him. The urge to set a foot in front of the door and feel the falling crystals on his own skin was great. Though, no matter how much he wanted it, the fear of himself would stop him. It was the fear of feeling what he wasn’t supposed to feel.

Ever since the last time Jeno had fallen for a boy, he had forbade himself from going outside and meeting the people of the world again. He wasn’t allowed to love—all he should be doing is bringing the souls of the dead to God.

* * *

“ _So you’ve only been waiting for me to die all along_ ?” _Mark said and Jeno noticed how betrayed he sounded, though he had nothing right to answer. He couldn’t deny, nor could he could he agree with, Mark’s words._

“ _Why would you lie to me_ ?” _Mark asked angrily, his voice fading slowly. He was too weak to hold on any longer and wait for an answer. The blood of the dying soldier was slowly dripping down Jeno’s hands as Mark’s soul left his body, which was turning cold._

_All the words Jeno wished he could say were stuck in his throat. He was unable to breath with the many thoughts and memories swirling chaotically around in his mind. Before Jeno left with Mark’s soul, he kissed Mark’s forehead one last time, praying that he could now rest in heaven._

* * *

Jeno pushed the door open, leading him outside into a stormy world, the wind hitting his face harshly. For a moment, he closed his eyes as he accustomed himself to the weather, before he started walking wherever his feet would bring him.

The streets were so empty that no one would want to get lost there—not that anyone particularly wanted to in the suburbs that he lived in. Jeno felt his body vibrating with anticipation with each step onto the fresh snow that covered the sidewalk. So many winters had gone by, yet he still got excited every time he imagined the crystals of snow underneath his feet being pressed together.

Slowly Jeno made his way through the cold masses, unsure where to go, only walking the way he felt was the right way to go. Looking up, he could only see gray clouds; the reason for the snow that fell on earth day by day.

After a while of walking aimlessly, Jeno stopped at a crossroads—one he had been at plenty of times already. He remembered the nearby underground station, whose trains could take him into the city center, where all the snow was cleaned up and lights were shining in all colors, brightening up the streets.

Jeno didn’t visit the inner city very often. The people there seemed crazy and the risk of someone talking to him was too high. All he really seemed to like about Seoul were the restaurants, though he hadn’t been to one in so long. It felt so ridiculous to sit at a table all alone with only the food in front of him.

* * *

The train station was just as empty as the streets above and the cold wind from outside was whistling through the underground hall, sending shivers down Jeno’s spine. He shouldn’t have been scared. After all, he was a creature humans feared meeting. In spite of his wariness, he was alone and the station was grimly silent.

While looking over the patterned walls, Jeno noticed the sound of a train coming near. Finally, he would be able to flee from this place, which felt much lonelier than even his own home. With a squeak, the train came to a halt in front of him. The light from its interior illuminated the train station so bright that it was as if the station lamps had not been on before.

Jeno was greeted by warm, but stuffy air coming from the train’s interior. Not a single soul was yet to be found even on the vehicle, though he tried to shrug his worry off. There was nothing Jeno should be scared about — he had nothing to lose as an immortal being.

He took a seat next to a big window, facing the dark walls of the tunnel. The annoying announcement voice called out the following station every time it was about to arrive at one again. For awhile, the voice was the only thing keeping him company until people finally started to fill the empty seats.

Jeno guessed it must be Christmas time, since some people were wearing red hats and scarves in the likeness of Santa. It was a weird tradition to him to dress up like a person that has only ever existed in fiction, but sometime back in the day he stopped questioning the humans and their primitive, entertaining behavior.

His gaze wandered, looking at all the different people filling the train’s space, some as lonely as him, but others in groups of friends or couples being intimate with each other. The sight made Jeno cold and left alone, but never had he known another feeling other than loneliness and heartbreak.

For a moment he felt like he was blacking out, before he was reminded by his own mind of a boy he remembered too well.

* * *

“ _In the end, we are all alone_ .” _Jaemin was facing the ocean, his words nostalgic but so casually spoken. For awhile, there was a comfortable silence surrounding them. The waves hit the beach and Jeno wanted to drown Jaemin’s thoughts in exactly those._

“ _But now we aren’t, right_ ?” _Jeno didn’t want to be alone, it was an awful feeling. Ever since he met Jaemin, he hasn’t felt alone anymore, he felt like someone finally cared enough to talk to him. Every day that went by, Jeno wished the talks would never end until after the sun was long gone._

  
  
  


“ _I’m going to leave soon._ ” _Jaemin explained that he would go on a three-month-long boat trip with his dad, who was a scientist. It didn’t feel right to Jeno to think that his friend shouldn’t leave him for the never-ending waters, something he had always been interested in, yet the thought of feeling alone again was too intimidating to deal with._

_The week before Jaemin was supposed to leave, Jeno started asking him so many useless questions as if they’d only just recently got to know each other. None of them mentioned it, but they both knew they weren’t the ones Jeno really wanted to know about._

_Jaemin’s eyes were so telling all the time, they expressed how Jaemin only wanted to reassure his newly found friend, but he couldn’t, because it was never meant to be. It wasn’t a friendship meant to last forever, it wasn’t a feeling meant to be felt forever, and fate had decided so._

  
  
  


_Not even a month after Jaemin had left did Jeno realise his words had been true, there was no such thing as a_ together _,_ _no matter how often he would search for exactly that fulfilling feeling. He inspected the mess created by a storm, one that had been too harsh for a boat and its crew to stay alive._

_The wind was playing with Jeno’s old, black robe while he hovered above the water, his expression cold. Jaemin’s body lay peacefully on a scrap of the crashed boat. It was an awful sight, something Jeno wanted to never see again. Jaemin’s cheeks still felt warm, although his friend’s hands were deathly cold._

“ _May your soul find peace in heaven,_ ” _Jeno spoke as he picked the body up, gazing into the dead eyes of his best friend._

* * *

The pictures in Jeno’s mind hadn’t stopped blurring his vision when someone suddenly sat down besides him, making him flinch. It still felt like he was hovering above the water, even though his eyes were darting along the ground which was not at all wavy or cold.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” The man sitting next to him spoke up. Jeno’s hands began to feel warm again and the clouds in his head seemed to go away. After a few seconds he turned his head, now facing a brightly smiling person.

“No worries.” It was quite a cold reply from Jeno, but he didn’t really have anything to say. Instead he smiled back with his lips pressed together. The trip on the train wasn’t supposed to make him talk to someone again, but somehow he always ended up doing exactly what he tried to avoid.

For a while the stranger didn’t say a word and Jeno started to relax again. He had built up so much tension by remembering the terrible sight of his best friend not breathing, his body floating in the ice cold water. It was now only chatter of all the other people in the train that filled his ears again.

“Where are you going?” All the newly gained hope Jeno had was destroyed by a single sentence and in his mind he groaned loudly. He didn't intend to be rude, so he tried to hide his annoyance as much as possible before he searched for a good reply.

“I have nothing planned yet.” Jeno shrugged and immediately regretted his words. He's been a grim reaper for too long and over time he's noticed that humans love such answers, because they always seem to need someone to keep them company.

“Oh? I’m heading to the Christmas market right now, maybe you want to join me?” It was the exact question Jeno expected, but looking at the stranger’s face he felt like saying ‘no’ would break that smile. He hated to admit it, but the man had a really sweet aura, something he had never been able to withstand.

“I would like to. I haven’t been there in a long time.” Jeno laughed, acting as if he was just another busy human who didn’t have time for anything but their work. Thinking about his actions, he remembered all the lonely days in his apartment, watching the plants blooming, the sun heating up the place, the leaves falling and the water freezing.

“By the way, my name is Donghyuck.” The man stretched out his hand and for some time Jeno didn’t know what he was supposed to do, he only stared at the hand until he realised that it was probably the most basic human interaction. To his defense; he hasn't had the chance to shake anyone's hand in so long. He can barely remember the last time he did.

“I’m Jeno.” He tried to reply with a little excitement in his voice. Hiss answers stayed short and he was worried that maybe Donghyuck would find it annoying. For a second, he stopped in his tracks and started questioning his current thoughts.

What made Jeno worry about his interactions with a person he barely knew? He turned his head again to look at Donghyuck, who was struggling at opening a tissue package. There was something about the stranger that Jeno felt attracted to. Maybe it was the overly bright smile and his voice;so pleasant, yet so unique.

“Should I show you around once we arrive at the market?” Donghyuck asked after he had finally been successful at getting a tissue out of the package. It was already questionable enough that he felt safe around a person he had never met before and now he finds himself getting more and more excited by the second.

“Of course, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to expect at all.” Jeno said, scratching the back of his head. As the next station was announced Donghyuck started chuckling and Jeno could barely hear him, but he still noticed it and he found it incredibly cute.

“Then it’s about time you see the market again.” Donghyuck clapped before the train arrived at the station that was supposedly their destination. A lot of the people that had gone with them were now getting out of the train too.

The two men waited until most of the others had gone outside before they finally started moving too. It was too much pushing but he tried to stay calm and just think of the fact that Donghyuck was with him and hopefully wouldn’t leave him hanging.

  
  


Getting to know Donghyuck was much more fun to Jeno than expected. It was the first time he really enjoyed visiting the Christmas market, because he wasn’t alone. They talked so much that Jeno forgot about the masses and time. 

Donghyuck told him a lot about himself and how much he loved skating, but also painting, because it brought him the most joy in life. While they talked he showed Jeno around and told him about everything he didn’t know about the market or the stuff being sold at different booths.

Maybe it was surprising to Donghyuck how Jeno barely knew anything about what was going on around them, but none of them mentioned it. They kept walking and talking until their feet were tired and the sky had already turned dark.

For Jeno it was too soon, but their way had to part some point. After Donghyuck had gotten out of the train back home, loneliness started to surround Jeno again and once again it was only the announcement voice keeping him company until he would arrive at his destination.

* * *

It was an early winter morning, the sun was just starting to rise, tinting the horizon in an orange-pink. Jeno sat on the roof the apartment house, it was one of his favorite places, because no one else would ever visit it. From the roof he had the best view and he loved it especially in summer nights, to stargaze and to watch the sun rise and go down again.

The snow had stopped falling the day after Jeno met Donghyuck the first time, three days ago. Both had been texting each other throughout the past days, planning on meeting up again today. Donghyuck seemed very excited, but he wouldn’t tell Jeno about what, all he knew was that the other wanted to show him something great.

Jeno’s cat was laying on his lap, sleeping tight while warming his legs. In the distance he could see the fields covered in layers of snow, the trees standing around them looked somehow sad without the green leaves.

To Jeno winter was a questionable season, the snow was something he really loved about it, especially the sound when you stepped on it and it’s looks. But no matter what, he would always think of it as the worst of all seasons, it was like a close friend from satan only being beautiful until you really got know it’s character, the coldness.

The beauty made the people want it, wait for it and everyone was excited, even Jeno was, but there was always the thought of danger being near, when the winter approached. When he felt the cold snow on his fingertips he would remember his very first friend in his life as a grim reaper.

It was Mark, who he learned a lot from. Jeno learned to be strong, not show how vulnerable he could be, that there were things, that could hurt him deeply. Out of all the good things he learned Mark also taught him, that love didn’t always mean love, sometimes it meant distance, sometimes death, sometimes it would always stay a wish.

Winter wasn’t always white, sometimes winter was red.

* * *

Donghyuck already stood at the train station, wearing the biggest and brightest of smiles when Jeno arrived with the train. Everything around there seemed much more welcoming, less lonely and actually cleaned up. The nearer you came to the city center the better the surroundings looked, no wonder barely a person lived in Jeno’s place.

It was unexpected, but Jeno wasn’t at all complaining when Donghyuck hugged him as a greeting. His body felt warm and Jeno has missed that feeling a lot, he couldn’t get enough hugs, but he felt too awkward asking for it.

“Have you ever ridden a skateboard?” Donghyuck asked out of the blue. They were walking out of the underground station in a direction Jeno didn’t know about where it would bring them, but he didn’t ask, he felt like there was no need to be worried about anything.

“Not really.” Jeno laughed awkwardly as he remembered that one time he tried to ride a skateboard, but miserably failed at it. After the first two seconds that he stood on it he already fell down, hurting his knees and hands so bad, that they started bleeding. It was an embarrassing time.

“Would you like me to show it to you then?” Jeno raised an eyebrow as he looked at Donghyuck. Never would he admit it, but he was actually scared of it. What if Jeno would embarrass himself again, would Donghyuck laugh at him?

“You don’t need to be scared! I’ll make sure you stay safe.” Donghyuck said as if he could read people’s minds. It was only a little reassuring, but enough to get Jeno to agree to it. Learning new things in life was exciting and he always hoped it would keep the loneliness away.

“Yes, show it to me then.” Jeno said, smiling to himself, so that Donghyuck couldn’t see it, but little did he know, that his newly found friend was looking at him this whole time.

* * *

After a some minutes of walking down the street they arrived in front of a big building, on a sign, that was standing in front the entry, stood “ _Seoul Sports Hall_ ”. Jeno had never been there before and he was a little amazed there was something like this.

Donghyuck already walked in, so Jeno followed him fast before he would lose him. The entry hall was not really big, there was only counter, behind it sitting a woman with tied back hair and sporty clothes.

“Oh? You are bringing a friend?” The woman didn’t even greet Donghyuck, Jeno thought it was rude, but maybe that’s how they interacted at this place. There was rustic furniture filling the place, that looked like it hasn’t been renovated in quite a long time.

“Everything has a first.” Donghyuck laughed before he took Jeno to a locker room, where he gave Jeno a pair of pants, saying he doesn’t want him to destroy his Jeans. The room smelled like sweat combined with awful deodorant and Jeno had to scrunch his nose out of disgusting.

“Is it that bad?” Donghyuck asked and started laughing at the sight in front of him. Before Jeno was able to answer the other suddenly took his shirt off, making him look away in shame. Jeno had never seen a man or a woman exposing their body and he never waited for it either, but there he was now, his face tinted in red.

“What?” Donghyuck asked in surprise. It was embarrassing to Jeno how the other was just standing there so casually, he probably did this on a daily.

“This is a rather unusual sight for me.” Jeno said, covering his face with his hands before he took a deep breath. He could felt Donghyuck staring at him and he wished he could bury himself, somewhere really deep down. 

It was silent for some time, before Donghyuck chuckled, making Jeno feel even more embarrassed. He was waiting for the other to finally put something on and act as if it never happened, but Jeno couldn’t here Donghyuck moving at all.

“When are you gonna put something on again?” Jeno asked, his voice was so quiet, that he could barely even understand himself, but he really hoped the other heard it. After some time he could hear Donghyuck shuffling around.

“You can open your eyes again.” Jeno was afraid, that Donghyuck would be annoyed by him while he slowly turned his head again to face the other. To Jeno’s luck there was finally a white T-shirt covering the earlier exposed body.

“You are still red.“ Donghyuck pointed out gaining an angry look from Jeno. 

“Don’t do this again!” But Donghyuck only laughed.

* * *

Standing on the skateboard didn’t feel safe to Jeno and his legs were shaking. Donghyuck was holding his hands, trying to make sure he wouldn’t fall, but even the slightest move was too much for Jeno.

“This is hopeless.” Jeno groaned and sat down on the floor. It was upsetting him how scared he was and how many time he has already embarrassed himself in front of Donghyuck today. This is only their second time meeting, but Jeno already felt too vulnerable around the other.

“You are literally the biggest scaredy cat I know.” Donghyuck playfully rolled his eyes before Jeno tried to push him to the floor, but he wasn’t successful. They had been bickering the whole time already and didn’t actually get anything done.

“Shut up.” Jeno said as he stood up again. “Let’s do this one last time.” Donghyuck was about to question Jeno, but he put his index finger on his lips before Donghyuck could even begin his sentence.

  
  
  


It was already dark outside, the street lights illuminating the sidewalk, while Jeno and Donghyuck were walking back to the train station. They had both enjoyed the day so much, that it was over much faster than expected.

“This was fun, I want to do it again.” Jeno said and smiled at the thought of all the embarrassing moments, that he could now only laugh over. To him Donghyuck was such great company and it kept all the intrusive thoughts away.

Snow had started falling again and was now decorating Donghyuck’s hair, which Jeno found really pretty, but he wouldn’t tell him. After they had left the skating skating hall both went to a cafe buying a hot chocolate to share on their way back.

“Please arrive at home safely.” Donghyuck said when the train arrived, that would take Jeno home again. When they hugged one last time it felt like the comforting warmth was taken away from Jeno, but he ignored it for now, because he knew they would see each other again.

\--

Christmas was slowly approaching, only a few days were left until all the people would meet their families and friends again, though Jeno had none of those. He knew, that Donghyuck was going to spend two days with his family, so he was gonna be alone for some time.

Jeno hated Christmas, not because of the people, but because of the loneliness he would always get lost in. Thoughts full of sadness would eat up all the happiness once the festive times of the year came around.

In front of Jeno was a shelf filled with equipment you could possibly need to paint. Donghyuck had shown him a big collection of all his drawings and paintings he had made over time. It was fascinating to see how much passion the guy had.

Jeno admired Donghyuck a lot for his work and his ambition to do what made him feel complete. Something he learned from Donghyuck was to always be patient and to never give up, no matter how hard it would get, because it would get easy again.

Jeno barely believed in words like these, but he wanted to keep it in mind and maybe if things would actually change to the better then he would thank all the people, that only wanted to best for him.

A lot of color palettes were filling the shelf and each of them looked cool to Jeno, but he remembered Donghyuck talking about one specific palette he always wanted to have, but never ended up getting, because he always spend his money on other things he didn’t need.

Jeno took some time until he finally found what he was looking for and grabbed as soon as his eyes landed on the catchy brand name. It was more expensive than expected, but he didn’t mind as long as he was able to make Donghyuck happy by giving it to him.

In the past four weeks they both met up a lot, filling the waiting time until christmas with a lot of laughs and heart warming interactions. Jeno couldn’t remember a christmas time as wonderful and enjoyable as the one he got to experience this time.

One time they went out to walk through the forest near Jeno’s place and he remembered how it looked like they were visit the winter realm itself, all the trees were covered in snow and the sight of a tiny bridge leading over a stream seemed way too beautiful for the both of them to believe it was real.

Another time Donghyuck invited Jeno to an unofficial date in one of his favorite korean restaurants. That day they talked about their own perspective for their future, though Jeno couldn’t really think of anything he wanted to do, except wanting to make the people around him happy.

Donghyuck mentioned how adorable and innocent Jeno’s view of the world was and he wished, that it would never change. Never would Jeno mentioned how lonely and left alone he actually felt, he didn’t want his friend to think of him as a sad person.

All Jeno wanted was to enjoy the presence of Donghyuck and not destroy it by spending any time with the intrusive thoughts. After they finished eating and left the restaurants the walked aimlessly around until they decided to go home again. That day they held hands for the first time and like a little kid Jeno was so excited about it.

After their first unofficial date they both became more intimate and Jeno noticed how much more confident Donghyuck has gotten when trying to flirt, but no matter what he would still blush out of embarrassment.

One of their favorite activities was going to the skating hall. Sometimes Jeno would only watch Donghyuck and take care of him when he would fall, on other days he would also try to skate himself. Right now Jeno was able to already do a single trick, that he got taught and maybe he was a little proud of himself.

  
  


“Merry Christmas!” The cashier said, when Jeno was about to leave with his present. He loved the overall joy everyone tried to spread in a time as stressful as this one. 

“Merry Christmas.” Jeno replied, smiling at the man behind the counter before he left to go home again.

* * *

On the TV was not a single interesting show, that Jeno could possibly watch while waiting. It was already the 26th december and Donghyuck was supposed to come soon. Everything Jeno wanted to prepare was already ready, the gift was laying on the desk wrapped in red paper and even some decoration was laying here and there, but it wasn’t a lot.

Jeno had never decorated for christmas before, so it were only a few things he got just recently, so his apartment wouldn’t look too empty once Donghyuck would come. Even his cat was spending some time here today, sleeping on the couch next to Jeno.

The past days had been quite boring, because there was no one Jeno could have possibly talked to. Normally he would have been able to find some weird activity he could do to forgot about time, but this year all he really wanted was to talk to Donghyuck.

Jeno was about fall asleep when suddenly someone knocked at the door. He stood up in excitement, ran up to the door and opened it without a second thought. Of course Donghyuck would wear his significant smile again, which Jeno adored so much.

“Took you long enough.” Jeno laughed before he fell into Donghyuck’s arms and hugged him tight. There it was again the warmth and comfort Jeno always felt around the other. He hated it, that they always had to part ways at the end of the day, but this time they wouldn’t, Donghyuck was staying over night this time.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Jeno asked while they walked to the living room where it was cozy and warm. There was still snow in Donghyuck’s hair, but this time Jeno didn’t keep it to himself and told him how cute he looked with it.

“What about sharing a hot chocolate again?” Donghyuck suggested before he was told he could stay in the living room and make himself feel at home. In the kitchen was already standing a cup of hot chocolate, that Jeno only needed to warm up now, because he already knew it would be what Donghyuck wanted, after all it was his favorite drink.

“What is this?” Donghyuck pointed at the gift after Jeno come back from the kitchen. His cat had her head laying on Donghyuck’s leg, who was petting her. It was a cute sight to Jeno.

“That’s for you! You can open it.” Jeno said with joy and sat down on the couch. While Donghyuck ripped the paper around the present open he was rambling about how thankful he was until he suddenly stopped, the color palette Jeno had bought him was now laying in his own hands.

For a moment there was silence and Jeno looked at Donghyuck questioning his actions, before he suddenly put the gift back on the desk and embraced Jeno in a sudden hug, making them both lay down on the couch.

“Thank you so much! You really remembered what I said?” Donghyuck half screamed into Jeno’s ear and proceeded to hug him even tighter now.

“It was the first thing I thought of when I was looking for a present for you.” Jeno replied, smiling at Donghyuck, who was looking at him like a puppy would.

“But do you know what is better than the color palette?” Donghyuck grinned and looked into Jeno’s eyes.

“Tell me.” He answered, obviously knowing what he would get to hear from the other.

“You.” Donghyuck booped Jeno’s nose and broke the hug to sit up again.

“I got something for you too.” Donghyuck said while he grabbed a dark red box out of his hoodie’s pocket and opened it. Inside it was a bracelet with a golden sun as the pendant.

“I wanted the pendant to be a sun, because you always say I shine as bright as one.” Donghyuck said and smiled while he put the bracelet around Jeno’s neck, whose cheeks started to turn red.

“It means that I’m always with you.” He added, starting to fiddle with his fingers. 

The silence between them was broken when suddenly Jeno’s cat started to meow and jumped in the middle of them. Her dark furr had almost the same color as the couch, which made her eyes shine even brighter than they already did.

“I love it.” Jeno then said and he wanted to go on, he wanted to tell Donghyuck even more, but he felt like he couldn’t, he was too scared to do so. They looked at each other for some time while they started to move closer and closer until the foreheads were touching.

“You look beautiful tonight.” Donghyuck whispered not daring to look anywhere else, but into the eyes of the other. The atmosphere embracing them was like a blanket, protecting them from any bad. Without another thought Jeno cupped Donghyuck’s delicate face.

“Can I?” Jeno asked quietly, caressing the other’s cheeks. Without sparing an answer, Donghyuck leaned in, wearing a smile on his lips, that was so captivating to Jeno, making him unable to look away from it. :D

At first he was surprised, but Jeno soon leaned in too and it felt good when their lips met. For the first time in his life he actually felt what love was when it wasn’t taken away from him, so fast as if it had never been there.

Jeno started to pull Donghyuck closer to him, making him sit on his lap. His apartment felt so much more like home when he could defeat the loneliness and have happiness and affection around him instead. Kissing Donghyuck was like as if Jeno was fighting his biggest fear, but also like he was finally letting in the friend, that he thought had been his enemy.

Being so intimate with someone he loved felt much genuine to Jeno than only speaking out the words, that could never describe a feeling as much as actions could. Donghyuck had his hands put around Jeno’s neck, holding him close without a break.

It was only when they started to gasp for air, that they broke the kiss.

“I love you.” They both whispered at the same time.

* * *

The clock, that was hanging on the wall of Jeno’s room, was ticking. Jeno was laying next to Donghyuck on his bed while he was looking at the ceiling. Today had been full of events they both never expected to happen, but it was great, none of them wanted to change it.

“Come here.” Donghyuck suddenly said with a sleepy voice. When Jeno had talked about his most memorable encounters in life Donghyuck had already fallen asleep.

“I miss you warmth.” He added after a few second and of course Jeno wouldn’t even dare to wait longer, so he moved over to Donghyuck, who immediately pulled him into a cozy cuddle.

Jeno started to play with Donghyuck’s hair and told him poetic stories about the stars everyone could see at night. Maybe he himself didn’t believe in his words, yet Jeno found it was interesting and sometimes the tellings had that hope in them, that you just needed after long hours of wandering around hopelessly.

“I’m tired.” Donghyuck said, yawning and rested his head on Jeno’s shoulder. From the outside the moon was illuminating the room with a white light. It looked so mysteriously beautiful and Jeno imagined himself dancing with his love in the darkest of nights on a field, where no one could find them.

“You should probably sleep then.” Jeno giggled and left a kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead, who was trying to keep his eyes open only to fail. Instead he snuggled closer to Jeno and started to drift away into dreamland.

“I love you.” Donghyuck whispered one last time before he fell asleep on Jeno’s chest, breathing peacefully. It seemed perfect. No, it was perfect. It was like a dream, yet it was so real and Jeno felt happy, he felt like he had overcome the sorrow from yesterday to enjoy today’s charm and happiness.

Slowly Jeno’s eyelids started to become heavier and he could feel the sleepiness taking over him. One last time he thanked god for this wonderful Christmas gift, but little did he know it wasn’t meant to stay.

Little did Jeno know, that Donghyuck had already stopped breathing as peacefully and that he wouldn’t wake up to the warmth and hope he fell asleep with. 


End file.
